"Like an ox-cart driver in monsoon season or the skipper of a grounded ship, one must sometimes go forward by going back," wrote novelist John Barth in The Friday Book. Consider using that approach, Aries. Retreat may be the strongest move you can make right now; surrender could turn out to be a masterstroke. But in order to get the most out of this strategy, you've got to keep your ego from injecting its agendas into situations. Don't act out of shame or pride; don't humble yourself excessively or be burning for revenge. Be objective, neutral, poised.

Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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Scientists have confirmed what we all knew: You do indeed have a little voice in your head that warns you when you’re about to do something dumb. It’s called the anterior cingulate cortex, according to white-coated authorities at Carnegie-Mellon University. If you’re receptive to it, it’s as good as having a guardian angel. "Don’t do it," the voice whispers when you’re on the verge of locking your keys in your car or leaving the bar with the cute drunk you just met. "Go back," it murmurs as you start to walk away from a huge, though initially inconvenient, opportunity.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

One of my favorite memories is gazing into my Taurus daughter's face just moments after her complicated birth. She had been through a heroic ordeal that scared the hell out of me, and yet she looked calm, beatific, and amused. "She's part-Buddha and part-elf," I thought to myself as I held her in my arms. I saw elegant compassion blended with wise playfulness, two states I had never before witnessed in the same person. This unexpected marvel imprinted me deeply, and has informed my work ever since. Do you have a comparable memory, Taurus? A time when a key to your destiny was revealed to you? A turning point when you got a gift that has fueled your quest for years? This is not only a good time to revisit that breakthrough; it's also a ripe moment to ask life for another one.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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Ralph Waldo Emerson: "He who is in love is wise and becoming wiser, sees newly every time he looks at the object beloved, drawing from it with his eyes and his mind those virtues which it possesses."
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: "Love, love, love: That is the soul of genius."
Krishnamurti: "The problem, if you love it, is as beautiful as the sunset."
Henry David Thoreau: "There is no remedy for love but to love more."
Erica Jong: "Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk everything, you risk even more."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

The governor of Minnesota has a wife who loves to go fishing. Tim Pawlenty told radio station WCCO that his wife Mary is smitten with the sport. She is genuinely driven to cast her bait into the lake in quest of the catch. "Now, if I could only get her to have sex with me," the governor added, suggesting that her passion for intimate union with him was not as pressing as her urge to fish. While I personally lean toward the position that eros is one of life's best gifts, I don't judge Mary harshly for her preference. Many people find that the most satisfying and useful way to express their libido is through some non-sexual activity. You may want to consider that possibility, at least in the coming days. It's the sublimation phase of your astrological cycle.

Need more help with your riddles? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." So begins Charles Dickens’ novel David Copperfield. Buy a blank book and write that sentence at the top of page one.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Normally, you're not the most direct person in the world. Nor are you the most concise. You sometimes display tendencies to sidestep the main issues and take the long way home to the truth. Why, then, have you apparently turned into a sleek paragon of precise communication? To what do we owe your crisp new efficiency, your knack for cutting through the crap, and your commitment to saying exactly what you mean? Maybe it has to do with the alignment of the planets. Or maybe you really, really don't want to be misunderstood.

No one knows you better than you do. But maybe you'll be inspired to dig up even more self-knowledge if you tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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Celebrate Unhappy Hour at least once a month. During this ritual blowout, you have license to complain and rant about everything that's driving you crazy. Get a sympathetic listener to be your receptacle or deliver your blast straight into the mirror. If you prefer, write it all down. One way or another, grouse nonstop about your secret shame, raw sorrow, unspeakable guilt, and unnerving twists of destiny. Feel free to unleash guttural moans or rueful cackles. If performed regularly, Unhappy Hour serves as an exorcism that empties you of psychic toxins. Pronoia will then have a chance to flourish as you luxuriate more frequently in rosy moods and broad-minded visions.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Resilience is a quality that allows you to rise above setbacks and find resources in unexpected places. It's a willful instinct to seek the higher ground and a bigger vision. It's intensely practical, because it shushes the nagging voices in your head that make negative interpretations of your experience, thereby allowing you to act courageously in your own best interests. This is Resilience Week for you, Leo. Call on your dormant reserves.

What greater adventure is there than exploring the enigmas of your unique destiny? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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Congratulations. Every cell in your perfect animal body is beginning to purr with luminous gratitude for the enormity of the riches you endlessly receive. You are becoming aware that each of your heart’s beats originates as a gift of love directly from the Goddess herself. Any residues of hatred that had been tainting your libido are leaving you for good. You are becoming telepathically linked to the world’s entire host of secret teachers, pacifist warriors, philosopher clowns, and bodhisattvas disguised as convenience store clerks.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Pregnant giraffes give birth standing up. Babies arrive in their new environment with a jolt, hitting the ground after plummeting six feet. Although they were fairly safe before, upon leaving the womb they are in danger of being preyed upon by animals like leopards and hyenas, which wouldn't dare attack their giant mothers. I'm thinking there's a resemblance between the newborn giraffes and a new project you're working on, Virgo. Its initial splash into the world may be a bit rocky and fraught with dicey challenges. But I'm here to say that if you're a vigilant caretaker in the early going, it will grow to maturity.

Got enough clues to chew on for a while? If you need more, give yourself the luxury of your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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"The task of genius, and humanity is nothing if not genius, is to keep the miracle alive, to live always in the miracle, to make the miracle more and more miraculous, to swear allegiance to nothing, but live only miraculously, think only miraculously, die miraculously." —Henry Miller
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

My friend Joan was experiencing a cascade of annoying physical symptoms -- mediocre digestion, mild headaches, chronic congestion in her ear, itchy skin. None was terrible, but together they were a big distraction. After two trips to her regular acupuncturist, there was little improvement. The acupuncturist decided it was time for more drastic measures: He was going to try a dramatic treatment that was akin to pushing a reset button on a machine. Success! Joan was freed from the nagging ailments and experienced a thorough rejuvenation. I suggest you seek out the equivalent treatment, Libra: Push the reset button.

How much do you want to know about your destiny? How far do you dare to go? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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We will ignore the cult of doom and gloom and embrace the cause of zoom and boom. We will laugh at the stupidity of evil and hate, and summon the brilliance to praise and create. No matter how upside-down it all may temporarily appear, we will have no fear because we know this secret: Life is crazily in love with us—wildly and innocently in love with us. The universe always gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

"The reality of love is mutilated when it is removed from all its unreality." So said the French philosopher Gaston Bachelard in his book The Poetics of Reverie. He meant that realism alone is not enough for human beings to live on, especially in our most intimate relationships. We need fantasy to augment the merely factual perspective. We require poetic truths to keep the rational approach honest. Without the play of the imagination, in fact, our understanding of the world is impoverished and distorted. In this spirit, Scorpio, I invite you to be extra daydreamy and imaginative about love in the coming days. Feed your soul and the souls of those you love with experiences that arouse mystery and wonder. (P.S. Nietzsche said: "We have art in order not to perish of truth.")

Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Pronoia means that even if we can’t see and don’t know, primal benefactors are plotting to emancipate us. The winds and tides are on our side, forever and ever, amen. The fire and rain are scheming to steal our pain. The sun and moon know our real names, and the animals pray for us while we’re dreaming. Do you believe in guardian angels and divine helpers? Whether you do or not, they’re always wangling to give you the gifts you don’t even realize you want. Can you guess how many humble humans are busy making things for you to use and enjoy?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

A teacher you will ultimately feel a strong need to learn from has recently become known to you, or will soon become known. A series of lessons you will benefit from studying throughout 2009 is already revealing its contours. I suggest you do some meditation and free-writing about these developments. Making your intuitions more conscious will prime your deep psyche for the work ahead, helping it to attract the experiences you'll require to prepare for your future educational assignments.

Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your destiny, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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Push hard to get better, become smarter, grow your devotion to the truth, fuel your commitment to beauty, refine your emotional intelligence, hone your dreams, negotiate with your shadow, cure your ignorance, shed your pettiness, heighten your drive to look for the best in people, and soften your heart—even as you always accept yourself for exactly who you are with all of your so-called imperfections.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

"The whole history of civilization is strewn with creeds and institutions which were invaluable at first, and deadly afterwards." So said British essayist Walter Bagehot. I would add the following corollary: The fortunes of many individuals have declined because of belief systems and structures that were invigorating earlier in their lives but that gradually became paralyzing or parasitical. Has that ever been true about you, Capricorn? More importantly, might it become true in the future? Please take inventory of your reliance on theories and attitudes and methods that made good sense once upon a time but that are now becoming irrelevant or even counterproductive.

Want to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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Thousands of things go right for you every day, beginning the moment you wake up. The vast majority of everything is working with breathtaking efficiency and consistency. You would clearly be deluded to imagine that life is primarily an ordeal.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

"What did you do this summer?" I asked my Aquarian readers. "I didn't build a single sandcastle," wrote Emma from Baltimore. "I didn't fall in love. I didn't celebrate the full moon. I didn't run through a meadow. I didn't taste honeysuckle. But on the other hand, I worked hard on the book I'm writing. I dramatically improved my diet. I kept my house clean and well-organized. I watched less TV." If I'm analyzing the omens correctly, many of you Aquarians were like Emma in the past months: more successful at accomplishing practical goals than at having free-form fun. I don't think that's a problem, though. You can't do everything, right? But these next few weeks before the equinox will be a good time to correct the imbalance. I suggest you go in quest of what has been missing.

What blessings will life bring you? What challenges will you be invited to dive into? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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Try this meditation: Imagine that you are both the wood and the fire that consumes the wood. When you focus your awareness on the part of you that is the wood, you hurt; it’s painful to feel your sense of solidity disintegrating. But as you shift your attention to the part of you that is the fire, you exult in the wild joy of liberation and power. It may be tempting to visualize yourself more as the fire than the wood. But if you’d like to understand pronoia in its fullness, you’ve got to be both wood and fire simultaneously.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

You will have a knack for seeing what has been invisible and for describing what no one else can say. You'll have a talent for perceiving the open secrets that everyone else has refused to notice and for speaking about truths that everyone has avoided articulating. I'm not sure what you've done to attain these wizardly abilities, but the cause isn't really important, is it? Get out there and use your superpowers to generate breakthroughs that will forestall and maybe even cancel sluggish breakdowns in the group processes.

Need a few more whacks applied to your mental blocks? A few more caresses administered to your growing edge? Cruise on over to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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The poet Muriel Rukeyser said the universe is composed of stories, not of atoms. The physicist Werner Heisenberg declared that the universe is made of music, not of matter. And we believe that if you habitually expose yourself to toxic stories and music, you could wind up living in the wrong universe, where it’s impossible to become the gorgeous genius you were born to be. That’s why we implore you to nourish yourself with delicious, nutritious tales and tunes that inspire you to exercise your willpower for your highest good.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.