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Free Will Astrology
horoscopes for week of August 14, 2008

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Golden Globe-winning actress Edith Evans had some advice for actors who were just coming into their full power: "Don’t indulge yourself by showing off; the moment that you begin to find that you can do something well, you must control it and do it more selectively." This recommendation would serve you well in the coming weeks, Aries, no matter what your work is. You have reached a higher level of self-expression; you have achieved a degree of mastery in a skill you've been struggling to learn. Now it's time to practice wielding your new command with enhanced discernment and discipline. (Evans' quote comes from John Gielgud's book An Actor and His Time.)


Want to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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Quoting geneticists, Guy Murchie says we're all family. You have at least a million relatives as close as tenth cousin, and no one on Earth is any farther removed than your 50th cousin.

Murchie also describes our kinship through an analysis of how deeply we share the air. With each breath, you take into your body 10 sextillion atoms, and--owing to the wind's ceaseless circulation--over a year's time you have intimate relations with oxygen molecules exhaled by every person alive, as well as by everyone who ever lived. Right now you may be carrying atoms that were once inside the lungs of Malcolm X, Christopher Columbus, Joan of Arc, and Cleopatra.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

By the time Cal was seven years old, he was lit up with a desire to know how things work. Sometimes that caused problems. When he dismantled the toaster to examine its innards, for instance, his parents reprimanded him. In a working-class family of 12 kids, losing a valued appliance caused a financial crunch. But Cal kept taking things apart to understand them better. In time his research led him to develop a skill for putting things back together again, often in better shape than they were before he got a hold of them. As an adult, Cal creates interactive robots that perform in shows all over the world; he's a master builder. I hope you'll try a telescoped version of his story in the coming week, Taurus: disassembling stuff in order to ultimately make it work even better.


What blessings will life bring you? What challenges will you be invited to dive into? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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You're like an arrow in flight. You're a half-cooked feast, the fifth month of pregnancy, the week before a big election. Have you ever mastered a second language? You resemble the time right before fluency arrives.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus advises his disciples to be "as shrewd as serpents and as innocent as doves" as they do their work in the world. (A different translation says "as wise as serpents and harmless as doves.") That's the two-toned attitude I suggest you embody in the coming week, Gemini. Evaluate every situation with all the cunning at your disposal, but don't act like a scheming strategist. Rather, be open-hearted and humble, almost child-like in your willingness to see with fresh eyes. Mastering this combination will allow you to avoid the pitfalls and reap the blessings of the paradoxes you encounter.


Need a few more whacks applied to your mental blocks? A few more caresses administered to your growing edge? Cruise on over to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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At a concert in California, devotional singer Krishna Das told a story of escorting his revered teachers, a frail old Indian couple, to an acupuncturist in New York. They had to walk through a neighborhood dominated by strip clubs, prostitutes, and drug dealers. Every few feet, a new salesperson approached with an offer of crack, weed, crank, or sexual adventures.

Krishna Das worried about subjecting his beloved guides to such a degrading experience, but they were unfazed. "This is heaven," said the woman. When a surprised Krishna Das asked what she meant, she replied, "Heaven is any place where one's needs can be met."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

A teacher at an all-girl Japanese elementary school decided her class would put on a performance of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. But when she selected a certain student to play Snow White, the parents of the other 24 kids went ballistic. Through a campaign of harassment, they bullied the teacher into changing the script so that there would be 25 Snow Whites, no dwarfs, and no wicked witch. In my opinion, that's the wrong way to apply democratic principles. I'm more anti-hierarchical than anyone I know, and yet even I would draw the line at, say, no more than five Snow Whites. Please be vigilant for the possibility that a similar misapplication of egalitarianism will take place in your personal sphere. Make sure there's at least one dwarf.


Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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Scientists have confirmed what we all knew: You do indeed have a little voice in your head that warns you when you're about to do something dumb. It's called the anterior cingulate cortex, according to white-coated authorities at Carnegie-Mellon University. If you're receptive to it, it's as good as having a guardian angel.

"Don't do it," the voice whispers when you're on the verge of locking your keys in your car or leaving the bar with the cute drunk you just met. "Go back," it murmurs as you start to walk away from a huge, though initially inconvenient, opportunity.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

Douglas Engelbart got the idea for the computer mouse in 1950 and actually invented it in 1964. But it was slow to be recognized for the brilliant technology it was, and didn't begin to reach a mass audience for another 20 years. Luckily, he was persistent, never losing faith in his vision. I suspect you're on the cusp of a comparable experience, Leo. One of your good ideas is either ahead of its time, or beyond the capacity of your cohorts to imagine. I'm sure you won't have to wait as long as Engelbart did, but the fruition of your brainchild may take more time than you'd like. Let's see how dogged and determined you can be.


Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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More and more creative people find they do their best work when they're feeling healthy and secure. We know writers who no longer need to be drunk or in agony in order to shed the numbness of their daily routine and tap into the full powers of their imagination. We have filmmaker friends whose best work flows not from the depths of alienated self-doubt but rather from the heights of well-earned bliss. Singer-songwriter P.J. Harvey is the patron saint of this new breed. "When I'm contented, I'm more open to receiving a lot of inspiration," she has testified. "I'm most creative when I feel safe and happy."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

Do you believe in invisible things? No? You say you only trust information that comes to you through your five senses? Then what's your position on radio waves, infrared light, electricity, and X-rays? Do you believe in them, even though your senses have no contact with them whatsoever? It's true that scientists have developed instruments that detect those invisible things. But what if there are other hidden forces and secret energies the scientists have yet to develop instruments to find? Let these thoughts be the starting point for your meditations in the coming week, Virgo. It's prime time for you to recognize, engage with, and benefit from what has been concealed from you up until now.


Need more help with your riddles? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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What causes happiness? Brainstorm at length about this question. Map out the foundations of your own personal science of happiness. Get serious about defining what makes you feel good. To get you started, I will list a few experiences that might possibly arouse your deepest gratification: physical pleasure; seeking the truth; being a good person; contemplating the meaning of life; enjoying the fruits of your accomplishments; escaping your routine; purging pent-up emotion. Do any of these work for you? Name at least ten more.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

Twenty years ago, I ran for city council in Santa Cruz, California. As one of my campaign promises, I told voters I would regularly consult with the spirit of America's third president, Thomas Jefferson, with whom I'd established a telepathic rapport. I fell a few hundred votes short of winning a council seat, but I kept my pledge anyway: I've been communing with Jefferson ever since. Last night I met with him in my dreams. I told him you're in an astrological phase that's favorable for seeking out new teachers and teachings, and I asked if he had any advice. He suggested that you do what I do: Have conversations, either in dreams or fantasies, with an historical figure you deeply respect.


No one knows you better than you do. But maybe you'll be inspired to dig up even more self-knowledge if you tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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Go to the ugliest or most forlorn place you know--a drugstore parking lot, the front porch of a crack house, a toxic waste dump, or the place that symbolizes your secret shame--and build a shrine devoted to beauty, truth, and love.

Here are some suggestions about what to put in your shrine: a silk scarf; a smooth rock on which you've inscribed a haiku or joke with a felt-tip pen; coconut cookies or ginger candy; pumpkin seeds and an origami crane; a green kite shaped like a dragon; a music CD you love; a photo of your hero; a votive candle carved with your word of power; a rubber ducky; a bouquet of fresh beets; a print of Van Gogh's "Starry Night."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

The most striking feature on the planet Jupiter is the Great Red Spot, a storm that resembles a giant unblinking eye. It has lasted over 300 years and is wider than the planet Earth. I invite you to regard it as your symbol of power in the coming weeks. Think of it whenever you'd like to use your eyes to see in bigger and better ways, or whenever you want to draw on the inspirational power of a beautiful storm, or whenever you'd like to transform some disturbance in your life into a long-lived source of dazzling energy.


What greater adventure is there than exploring the enigmas of your unique destiny? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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Late at night when there's no traffic, stride down the middle of an empty road that by day is crawling with cars. Dance, careen, and sing songs that fill you with pleasurable emotions. Splay your arms triumphantly as you extemporize prayers in which you make extravagant demands and promises. Give pet names to the trees you pass, declare your admiration for the workers who made the road, and celebrate your sovereignty over a territory that usually belongs to heavy machines and their operators.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

For over a decade, members of the worldwide Garden Gnome Liberation Front have been stealing garden gnomes from the yards of people's homes and relocating them into their natural home in the forests. While I admire their pranks, I can't in good conscience advise you to join their ranks. Your instinct for freedom is exceptionally high these days, true, but it would be a shame to waste it on helping inanimate objects. Instead, please devote your tremendous emancipatory energies to practical causes and living beings.


Got enough clues to chew on for a while? If you need more, give yourself the luxury of your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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The sage and her student were standing by a pool discussing longing and ambition.

"What do you want more than anything else?" the sage asked.

"To perfect my ability to love all of creation the way I love myself," the young man replied.

At that moment, the sage tackled the student and shoved his head beneath the water. Accustomed to letting his teacher shape the unpredictable contours of his education, he did not resist.

One minute went by. Then another. The student began to struggle and kick. His teacher was strong.

Finally she released her grip and the student surfaced, fighting for breath.

"What did you want more than anything else during these last few minutes?" the sage inquired.

"Nothing else was in my mind except the desire for air," gasped the student.

"Excellent," beamed the sage. "As soon as you are equally single-minded in your desire to perfect your ability to love all of creation the way you love yourself, you will achieve your goal."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

It's clear to me that a part of you needs to come out of hiding. I'm not exactly sure what that means, though. Maybe there's a talent you've buried that's ready to emerge into the light. It could be that a question you've been trying to ignore is finally ripe to be asked. Perhaps you've been stoically putting up with a tweaked situation that you really should rise up and transform. What do you think it is, Capricorn?


How much do you want to know about your destiny? How far do you dare to go? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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Astrologer Caroline Casey offers an apt metaphor to illustrate how crucial it is for us to hear and read good stories. She notes that if we don't have enough of the normal, healthy kind of iodine in our bodies, we absorb radioactive iodine, which has entered the food chain through nuclear test explosions conducted in the atmosphere. Similarly, unless we fill ourselves up with stories that invigorate us, we're more susceptible to sopping up the poisonous, degenerative narratives.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Aquarius (January 20- February 18)

My favorite places on the Moon are the Sea of Clouds, Sea of Fertility, Sea of Ingenuity, and Sea of Nectar. They're not actual bodies of water. The old astronomers who named them didn't know they were actually dark plains formed by ancient volcanic eruptions. But the great thing about the moon is that it piques our imaginations and massages our dreams as much as it speaks to our rational minds. And I encourage you to take advantage of that power now. Here's one possible way: Daydream a story about a heroic quest in which you acquire four magical boons, one each at the Sea of Clouds, Sea of Fertility, Sea of Ingenuity, and Sea of Nectar.


Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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In the early years of Christianity, there were hundreds of books interpreting the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. But by 325 A.D., a group backed by the political and military might of the Roman Empire had determined which few of the stories about Christ would thereafter be considered the canonical New Testament, and which would be regarded as heretical bilge.

No better evidence exists for the saying, "History is a tale told by the victors." Keep this in mind as you strategize your way through your personal War of the Stories. Your account of events may have more truth in it than everyone else's conflicting tales, but that won't carry much weight unless you obtain the power to enforce your version.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

Tony Blair, former Prime Minister of the UK, chose an unlikely context to propose marriage to his future wife: She was kneeling in front of the toilet wielding a scrub brush. I expect a comparable event in your near future, Pisces: An appealing invitation or big opening will come your way while you're in a humble position. The only advice I have is to put down your scrub brush before responding.


Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your destiny, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Firenze Matisse traveled to Antarctica. On the first day, the guide took him and his group to a remote area and left them alone for an hour to commune with the pristine air and unearthly stillness. After a while, a penguin ambled up and launched into a ceremonial display of squawks and stretches. Firenze responded with recitals of his favorite memorized poems, imagining he was "engaged in a conversation with eternity." Halfway through his inspired performance of Thich Nhat Hanh's "Please Call Me by My True Names," the penguin sent a stream of green projectile vomit cascading against his chest, and shuffled away.

Though Firenze initially felt deflated by eternity's surprise, no harm was done. He soon came to see it as a first-class cosmic joke, and looked forward to exploiting its value as an amusing story with which to regale his friends back home.

Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Michael Logan was the first person to hear Firenze's tale upon his return from Antarctica. "You might want to consider this, Firenze," Michael mused after taking it all in. "Penguins nurture their offspring by chewing food—mixing it up with all God's enzymes—and then vomiting it into the mouths of the penguin babies. Perhaps you weren't the butt of a cosmic joke or some Linda Blair-esque bad review, but in fact the recipient of a very precious gift of love. Who knows?"

Now Firenze has two punch lines for his tale of redemptive pronoia.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

© 1995-2014 -- Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved