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Horoscopes for week of February 1, 2007

Verticle Oracle card Aries (March 21-April 19)
I have one little whisper of warning and one big blast of encouragement for you. First, the warning: Don't be like the ancient Roman emperor Caligula, who declared war on Neptune, god of the sea, and commanded his troops to hurl their spears into the water. Now here's the encouragement: If you heed my warning, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to go to war, metaphorically speaking. There's a 95 percent chance that your cause will be just, a 90 percent chance that you'll be able to enlist a solid fighting force, and an 85 percent chance that you'll acquit yourself with resourceful courage.


You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2007. Each report in the three-part series is about 6-8 minutes long. A new short-range forecast for this week is also available.

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Try this meditation: Imagine that you are both the wood and the fire that consumes the wood. When you focus your awareness on the part of you that is the wood, you hurt; itís painful to feel your sense of solidity disintegrating. But as you shift your attention to the part of you that is the fire, you exult in the wild joy of liberation and power. It may be tempting to visualize yourself more as the fire than the wood. But if youíd like to understand pronoia in its fullness, youíve got to be both wood and fire simultaneously.

The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Powells.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Taurus (April 20-May 20)
In his book Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships, psychotherapist John Welwood writes, "Psychological work focuses more on what has gone wrong: how we have been wounded in our relations with others and how to go about addressing that. Spiritual work focuses more on what is intrinsically right: how we have infinite resources at the core of our nature that we can cultivate in order to live more expansively. If psychological work thins the clouds, spiritual work invokes the sun." In my opinion, Taurus, both approaches are useful, depending on the season of your life. For the foreseeable future, though, spiritual work should be your emphasis.


You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2007. Each report in the three-part series is about 6-8 minutes long. A new short-range forecast for this week is also available.

*

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The poet Muriel Rukeyser said the universe is composed of stories, not of atoms. The physicist Werner Heisenberg declared that the universe is made of music, not of matter. And we believe that if you habitually expose yourself to toxic stories and music, you could wind up living in the wrong universe, where itís impossible to become the gorgeous genius you were born to be. Thatís why we implore you to nourish yourself with delicious, nutritious tales and tunes that inspire you to exercise your willpower for your highest good.

The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Powells.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Gemini (May 21-June 20)
It's a scary responsibility to give people astrological advice. What if I suggested that you call in sick (even though you're not sick) so you could wander off into the Great Unknown in quest of close encounters with mind-blowing teachings? And what if in the course of following my suggestion you learned so many lessons about how to permanently expand your frontiers that you then decided to burn down a bridge to nowhere and give away most of your emotional baggage and live in greater devotion to your soul's radically simple needs? Could I then get sued by someone in your life who really doesn't want you to escape your traps?


You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2007. Each report in the three-part series is about 6-8 minutes long. A new short-range forecast for this week is also available.

*

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Scientists have confirmed what we all knew: You do indeed have a little voice in your head that warns you when youíre about to do something dumb. Itís called the anterior cingulate cortex, according to white-coated authorities at Carnegie-Mellon University. If youíre receptive to it, itís as good as having a guardian angel. "Donít do it," the voice whispers when youíre on the verge of locking your keys in your car or leaving the bar with the cute drunk you just met. "Go back," it murmurs as you start to walk away from a huge, though initially inconvenient, opportunity.

The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Powells.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Cancer (June 21-July 22)
You're being compelled to get reacquainted with forbidden dreams and buried secrets and hidden truths. Be honest: It's not so bad; it's probably even a bit thrilling. Though it may generate some pungent and poignant dramas, you've got to admit that the dramas are pretty entertaining. And besides, if you can find a way to feel amused as you cooperate with these forbidden dreams and buried secrets and hidden truths, they will ultimately dissolve obstacles that have been postponing your future.


You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2007. Each report in the three-part series is about 6-8 minutes long. A new short-range forecast for this week is also available.

*

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Ralph Waldo Emerson: "He who is in love is wise and becoming wiser, sees newly every time he looks at the object beloved, drawing from it with his eyes and his mind those virtues which it possesses."
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: "Love, love, love: That is the soul of genius."
Krishnamurti: "The problem, if you love it, is as beautiful as the sunset."
Henry David Thoreau: "There is no remedy for love but to love more."
Erica Jong: "Love is everything itís cracked up to be. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you donít risk everything, you risk even more."

The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Powells.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Leo (July 23-August 22)
In her book Traveling Mercies, Ann Lamott says the two best kinds of prayer are "Help me, help me, help me" and "Thank you, thank you, thank you." The former was appropriate for you to unleash a few weeks ago, Leo, but these days the latter makes more sense. I know some of you may think that's a waste of time. Of what practical value is it to express gratitude for what you've already been given? Here's why: Expressing exuberant thanks tends to attract into your life even more reasons to be thankful; it turns you into a magnet for blessings.


You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2007. Each report in the three-part series is about 6-8 minutes long. A new short-range forecast for this week is also available.

*

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"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." So begins Charles Dickensí novel David Copperfield. Buy a blank book and write that sentence at the top of page one.

The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Powells.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Virgo (August 23-September 22)
When Martin Luther King Jr. was 12 years old, he was so depressed he tried to commit suicide. I'm glad he didn't succeed. He grew up to be one of my heroes: a peaceful warrior who fought for justice with militant love. Studying his life, I learned that it's possible for a man to have both a well-honed intellect and a fierce spiritual faith. He showed me that uplifting passion, lyrical language, and inventive imagination are essential elements of political activism. He proved you can be devoted to divine mysteries without turning into a fundamentalist fanatic who hates non-believers. In accordance with the astrological omens, Virgo, I urge you to draw inspiration from a hero who means as much to you as King does to me. For extra credit, find out how this indomitable soul managed to triumph over his or her life's low points.


You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2007. Each report in the three-part series is about 6-8 minutes long. A new short-range forecast for this week is also available.

*

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Celebrate Unhappy Hour at least once a month. During this ritual blowout, you have license to complain and rant about everything that's driving you crazy. Get a sympathetic listener to be your receptacle or deliver your blast straight into the mirror. If you prefer, write it all down. One way or another, grouse nonstop about your secret shame, raw sorrow, unspeakable guilt, and unnerving twists of destiny. Feel free to unleash guttural moans or rueful cackles. If performed regularly, Unhappy Hour serves as an exorcism that empties you of psychic toxins. Pronoia will then have a chance to flourish as you luxuriate more frequently in rosy moods and broad-minded visions.

The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Powells.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Libra (September 23-October 22)
"The disease of niceness cripples more lives than alcoholism," said writer Raymond Chandler. That's an exaggeration, in my opinion, but I think his point is important--especially for you Libras right now. As much as I love your ability to cultivate harmony, seek out beauty, and find the common ground between people, I encourage you to let the sweet and polite sides of your nature recede into the background for a while. Emphasize feistiness and grit. Tap into the fiery, primal aspect of your nature that drove you out of your mother's womb and into this world in the hour when you were born. Be inspired by the creator gods and goddesses of ancient myth, who playfully forged millions of beautiful things using wind, mud, tears, and lightning.


You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2007. Each report in the three-part series is about 6-8 minutes long. A new short-range forecast for this week is also available.

*

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Congratulations. Every cell in your perfect animal body is beginning to purr with luminous gratitude for the enormity of the riches you endlessly receive. You are becoming aware that each of your heartís beats originates as a gift of love directly from the Goddess herself. Any residues of hatred that had been tainting your libido are leaving you for good. You are becoming telepathically linked to the worldís entire host of secret teachers, pacifist warriors, philosopher clowns, and bodhisattvas disguised as convenience store clerks.

The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Powells.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Some people think of me as a pure Californian, marinated in Left Coast politics and raised on New Age memes. But the truth is I spent the first 12 years of my life in the Midwestern heartland, the next six years on the East Coast, then nine years in the South. I'm as mongrel a breed of American as it's possible to be. Though I may bloom with Californian-style eccentricities, my roots are deep in down-to-earth cultural memes. Now I'd like you to do for yourself what I just did, Scorpio, only more so. Remember in detail your origins. Take inventory of the places that have helped make you who you are. Note wryly the differences between what people imagine you to be and what you know you are.


You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2007. Each report in the three-part series is about 6-8 minutes long. A new short-range forecast for this week is also available.

*

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"The task of genius, and humanity is nothing if not genius, is to keep the miracle alive, to live always in the miracle, to make the miracle more and more miraculous, to swear allegiance to nothing, but live only miraculously, think only miraculously, die miraculously." óHenry Miller

The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Powells.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Even though it's illegal, marijuana is now America's biggest cash crop, generating more revenue than corn and soybeans. Official government sources won't acknowledge this fact, of course, and the major media would prefer to ignore it. Let's use this situation as a metaphor for your personal life, Sagittarius. Meditate on the following three questions. (1) Is there a valuable asset that you neglect to account for when you take inventory of your total resources? (2) Is there a Big Important Thing that you don't fully acknowledge? (3) Do you play down the power of a transformational agent that's taboo or not fully accepted?


You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2007. Each report in the three-part series is about 6-8 minutes long. A new short-range forecast for this week is also available.

*

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We will ignore the cult of doom and gloom and embrace the cause of zoom and boom. We will laugh at the stupidity of evil and hate, and summon the brilliance to praise and create. No matter how upside-down it all may temporarily appear, we will have no fear because we know this secret: Life is crazily in love with usówildly and innocently in love with us. The universe always gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it.

The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Powells.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
"The greatest thing a human soul ever does in this world is to see something," wrote art critic John Ruskin. "To see clearly is poetry, prophecy, and religion, all in one." Your assignment in the coming week, Capricorn, is to make Ruskin's idea your method. In other words, lay aside everything you think you know, suspend your reflex to impose your beliefs on every situation you encounter, and behold the world exactly as it is. If you do it right, you'll experience pleasure beyond measure. More than that, you'll change everything you see into a more beautiful version of itself.


You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2007. Each report in the three-part series is about 6-8 minutes long. A new short-range forecast for this week is also available.

*

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Pronoia means that even if we canít see and donít know, primal benefactors are plotting to emancipate us. The winds and tides are on our side, forever and ever, amen. The fire and rain are scheming to steal our pain. The sun and moon know our real names, and the animals pray for us while weíre dreaming. Do you believe in guardian angels and divine helpers? Whether you do or not, theyíre always wangling to give you the gifts you donít even realize you want. Can you guess how many humble humans are busy making things for you to use and enjoy?

The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Powells.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Aquarius (January 20- February 18)
Seven centuries ago, there were Christian religious fanatics in Europe who demanded that all women must cover their ears. Why? Because the Virgin Mary had been inseminated through that part of her body by the Holy Spirit. The fanatics feared that other women might be susceptible to the influx of invisible ear-penetrating entities that weren't so benevolent. And how does this relate to you? While I'm not worried that you'll be literally invaded, I do think you should be careful about what words and sounds you let slip into your ears. There's a good chance you'll be metaphorically impregnated by potent messages that arrive via that route. Make sure they're positive messages that will make you thrive.


You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2007. Each report in the three-part series is about 6-8 minutes long. A new short-range forecast for this week is also available.

*

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Thousands of things go right for you every day, beginning the moment you wake up. The vast majority of everything is working with breathtaking efficiency and consistency. You would clearly be deluded to imagine that life is primarily an ordeal.

The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Powells.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Pisces (February 19-March 18)
Patches of yellow forsythias and blue gentian flowers have sprouted high in the Austrian Alps this winter, appearing where snow usually dominates the landscape. I predict that you're about to experience a metaphorically similar phenomenon, Pisces. There'll be an unprecedented blossoming in a situation that has previously been unable to support growth. I wouldn't be surprised if some of your frozen assets began to thaw as well.


You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2007. Each report in the three-part series is about 6-8 minutes long. A new short-range forecast for this week is also available.

*

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Push hard to get better, become smarter, grow your devotion to the truth, fuel your commitment to beauty, refine your emotional intelligence, hone your dreams, negotiate with your shadow, cure your ignorance, shed your pettiness, heighten your drive to look for the best in people, and soften your heartóeven as you always accept yourself for exactly who you are with all of your so-called imperfections.

The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Powells.



 
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