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Gemini Libra Aquarius
Cancer Scorpio Pisces
 
 
Horoscopes for week of January 16, 2003

Verticle Oracle card Aries (March 21-April 19)
It's show and tell time, Aries. Are you ready to reveal the semi-beautiful truths you've been holding back? Your knees may knock and your palms may sweat up until the moment you hit the spotlight. But I bet a magical calm will settle over you then, and suddenly you'll be flowing freely, showing off as you haven't since maybe the school play in third grade. Unless of course you're not sincere about what you're trying to do, in which case you'll faint and embarrass your descendants for five generations.

Want more clues, Aries? Need further insight? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6. For the same price, you can also hear my LONG-TERM FORECASTS for ARIES in 2003.

For part 1 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 1 (from 12/17/2002)."
For part 2 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 2 (from 12/24/2002)."
For part 3 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 3 (from 12/31/2002)."



 
  Verticle Oracle card Taurus (April 20-May 20)
You and I are equals. Though I may sometimes have the power to provide you with guidance and amusement, you have skills that are beyond my ability, and you know mysteries I can't fathom. Let this thought be the hub for more extensive meditations in the coming days, Taurus. It's time for you to democratize your world down to the roots. Regard everyone -- me, your boss, the president, the homeless guy in front of the post office, J. Lo -- as no better and no worse than you, no higher and no lower. Each of us is potentially your teacher and your student, a dazed and amazed seeker in a mysterious world whose mix of wonders and terrors is impossible to master.

Want more clues, Taurus? Need further insight? For more juicy details about your destiny in the coming week, check out your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6. For the same price, you can also hear my LONG-TERM FORECASTS for TAURUS in 2003.

For part 1 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 1 (from 12/17/2002)."
For part 2 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 2 (from 12/24/2002)."
For part 3 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 3 (from 12/31/2002)."



 
  Verticle Oracle card Gemini (May 21-June 20)
My old friend John liked to joke that he lived "in Tent City." It was his way of bragging about how he loved to steep himself in a level of intensity that would make most people's eyes bug out. I bring this up, Gemini, because I suspect you'll be staying "in Tent City" for a few days. Since you'll only be visiting, not moving in, your time there should be more exciting than exhausting. Here are tips for getting the most out of your trip: 1. Do what you fear at least twice. 2. Set in motion plans to seize back any rights that have been stolen from you. 3. Resuscitate an ailing dream as if your life depended on it. (Your life doesn't really depend on it, but the "as-if" experiment will supercharge your courage at just the right time.)

Want to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life in the coming week, Gemini? Listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6. For the same price, you can also hear my LONG-TERM FORECASTS for GEMINI in 2003.

For part 1 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 1 (from 12/17/2002)."
For part 2 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 2 (from 12/24/2002)."
For part 3 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 3 (from 12/31/2002)."



 
  Verticle Oracle card Cancer (June 21-July 22)
You know how sometimes you get a dramatic demonstration of telepathy or precognition, but it's utterly trivial? For instance, on the same night a few years ago my brother and I both had a dream of Frank Sinatra eating onion soup in a snake pit. Interesting, but so what? You, on the other hand, are about to experience a more interesting version of this phenomenon. Your latent psychic powers will become available for you to use in practical ways. For instance, you'll be able to read the minds of very important people and gather crucial previews of the future. Oh, there is one condition: For best results, you must vow to use any information you gather only for good works that benefit everyone.

Life will be a gorgeous mystery in the coming week, Cancerian. To explore even deeper, dive into your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6. For the same price, you can also hear my LONG-TERM FORECASTS for CANCERIANS in 2003.

For part 1 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 1 (from 12/17/2002)."
For part 2 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 2 (from 12/24/2002)."
For part 3 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 3 (from 12/31/2002)."



 
  Verticle Oracle card Leo (July 23-August 22)
In the history of your relationship with togetherness, you've maybe never experienced a stretch as demanding as the one that's about to begin. The stakes will be high and the challenges daunting; and yet if you bravely venture to question everything you thought was true about love, you will break through into a radical new level of intimacy that is deep and playful beyond anything you've imagined.

Where do you want to go in the coming week, Leo? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6. For the same price, you can also hear my LONG-TERM FORECASTS for LEO in 2003.

For part 1 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 1 (from 12/17/2002)."
For part 2 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 2 (from 12/24/2002)."
For part 3 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 3 (from 12/31/2002)."


 
  Verticle Oracle card Virgo (August 23-September 22)
In the video for her song, "I'm Gonna Getcha Good," Virgo singer Shania Twain portrays a flying robot chased by the devil. The powers-that-be at MTV were so impressed that they awarded it "Most Demented Video by a Country Artist" for 2002. I hope that in the coming weeks the rest of you Virgos will unleash your imagination with the same fervor that Twain summoned. Not only is there no need for you to stick to humdrum traditions; your best chance at being happy and fulfilled between now and February 15 is if you think way, way outside the box.

Want more clues, Virgo? Need further insight? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6. For the same price, you can also hear my LONG-TERM FORECASTS for VIRGO in 2003.

For part 1 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 1 (from 12/17/2002)."
For part 2 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 2 (from 12/24/2002)."
For part 3 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 3 (from 12/31/2002)."



 
  Verticle Oracle card Libra (September 23-October 22)
I predict that some night this week you will dream of a secret garden. From a distance, you'll spy it below you as you're walking alone in a hilly wilderness. As you approach, you'll be filled with dazzled thoughts like, "Wow! That's exactly how I'd create a secret garden if I ever had the chance! It's got everything I love!" When you finally arrive at the gate to the garden, you'll find it bears a sign with your name on it, and when you slip your hand in your pocket you'll find a golden key that fits the gate's lock perfectly. As you stride in, you'll realize this is in fact your very own secret garden: You created it long ago, but forgot about it until now.

Want to explore the coming week even further, Libra? Dig deeper? Push harder? Consider tuning in to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6. For the same price, you can also hear my LONG-TERM FORECASTS for LIBRA in 2003.

For part 1 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 1 (from 12/17/2002)."
For part 2 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 2 (from 12/24/2002)."
For part 3 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 3 (from 12/31/2002)."


 
  Verticle Oracle card Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
All roads would lead to you if you'd only sit still long enough. Gifts would come pouring in if your potential benefactors weren't in the dark about where you're at. Keep up this faithless lurching around, Scorpio, and fate will conspire to trip you up and pin you down wherever you happen to fall. Don't let that happen! Drop everything that's contributing to your agitated distraction so that you can tune in to your poor, neglected homing signal. I swear you will find instant relaxation the moment you surrender to the obvious.

Need a few more whacks applied to your mental blocks in the coming week, Scorpio? A few more caresses administered to your growing edge? Cruise on over to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6. For the same price, you can also hear my LONG-TERM FORECASTS for SCORPIO in 2003.

For part 1 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 1 (from 12/17/2002)."
For part 2 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 2 (from 12/24/2002)."
For part 3 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 3 (from 12/31/2002)."



 
  Verticle Oracle card Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Visualize wacky comedian Robin Williams doing an improvisational skit in which he portrays a slightly tipsy Santa Claus who insists on giving you a few too many nice presents. That's one way to understand the effect of the planet Jupiter on your life. Now imagine that for the first part of 2003, this influence will be hanging out in your astrological ninth house, also known as the House of Exploration, Experimentation, and Expansion. What effects do you think that'll bring? To enrich and complicate your meditations, I'll act like an overly generous Santa Claus and tell you some other names for the ninth house: House of Wild Frontiers; House of Goose Bumps and Shivery Possibilities; House of Lucky Accidents; House of Very Big Ideas.

No one knows you better than you do, Sagittarius. But maybe you'll be inspired to dig up even more self-knowledge in the coming week if you tune in to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6. For the same price, you can also hear my LONG-TERM FORECASTS for SAGITTARIUS in 2003.

For part 1 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 1 (from 12/17/2002)."
For part 2 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 2 (from 12/24/2002)."
For part 3 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 3 (from 12/31/2002)."


 
  Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
An impressive array of beneficent cosmic omens has gathered in your honor. As a result, I'm finally able to give you an assignment I've been aching to deliver for months. Are you ready for a burst of proof that the "no pain, no gain" approach is not the only way to acquire wisdom? During the coming days, Capricorn, act as if life is crazily in love with you; as if every force of nature longs to be of service to you; as if animals and children and well-adjusted adults are eager to see the best in you. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in becoming the gorgeous curiosity you were born to be. Visualize the possibility that the entire universe is endlessly conspiring to bring you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.

What greater adventure is there than exploring the enigmas of your unique destiny, Capricorn? For more hints about the week ahead, listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6. For the same price, you can also hear my LONG-TERM FORECASTS for CAPRICORN in 2003.

For part 1 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 1 (from 12/17/2002)."
For part 2 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 2 (from 12/24/2002)."
For part 3 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 3 (from 12/31/2002)."



 
  Verticle Oracle card Aquarius (January 20- February 18)
Ruth Lilly, 87-year-old heiress of a pharmaceutical fortune, recently donated $100 million to a cause that's usually ignored by her fellow philanthropists: poetry. Her electrifying endowment to the modest but well-respected "Poetry" magazine was even more miraculous in light of this irony: Over the years she has submitted many of her own poems to the magazine in hopes they'd be published, but the editors have rejected every one. Can there be any more perfect embodiment of unconditional generosity? Let Ruth Lilly be your role model in the coming week, Aquarius. Bestow your blessings not only on helpers who like you; reach out, as well, to those who have rebuffed and underestimated you. The rewards will be worth more than you can imagine.

Got enough clues to chew on for a while, Aquarius? If you need more, give yourself the luxury of your Expanded Audio Horoscope for the coming week. The reading costs $6. For the same price, you can also hear my LONG-TERM FORECASTS for AQUARIUS in 2003.

For part 1 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 1 (from 12/17/2002)."
For part 2 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 2 (from 12/24/2002)."
For part 3 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 3 (from 12/31/2002)."


 
  Verticle Oracle card Pisces (February 19-March 18)
I suspect that you're the object of more than a few greedy fantasies these days. Even people who are normally quite prudent may crave an extra piece of you, so just imagine what excesses that energy vampires might be prone to. Beware, therefore, of being manipulated and exploited. Try to monitor, as well, your own unconscious responses to all this grabby action. I'm afraid you may be secretly pleased that everyone seems to want you so badly, and as a result agree to be depleted. How about this compromise, Pisces: Allow three worthy and noble people -- no more -- to claim a larger dose of you than usual.

How much do you want to know about your destiny in the coming week, Pisces? How far do you dare to go? For more insight into your shimmering, undulating fate, tune in to your Expanded Audio Horoscope for the coming week. The reading costs $6. For the same price, you can also hear my LONG-TERM FORECASTS for PISCES in 2003.

For part 1 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 1 (from 12/17/2002)."
For part 2 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 2 (from 12/24/2002)."
For part 3 of my report on your destiny in 2003, click on "Part 3 (from 12/31/2002)."



 
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