Gemini Forecasts for 2012
Gemini, here are some different angles on your long-term destiny: my forecasts for you in 2012.
In her memoir Blood, Bones & Butter: The Inadvertent Education of a Reluctant Chef, Gabrielle Hamilton suggests my horoscopes were helpful to her as she followed her dream to create her New York City restaurant, Prune. "I killed roaches, poisoned their nests, trapped rats, stuffed their little holes with steel wool and glass shards," she wrote, "while my girlfriend . . . walked through the place 'purifying' it with a burning sage smudge stick and read me my Rob Brezsny horoscopes in support." I would love to be of similar service to you in the coming months, Gemini, as you cleanse whatever needs to be cleansed in preparation for your next big breakthrough. Let the fumigation, purgation, and expiation begin!
The coming year will be a good time for you to consider investigating the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Devotees of this religion call themselves Pastafarians. Their main dogma is the wisdom of rejecting all dogma. Having such a light-hearted approach to spiritual matters would be quite healthy for you to experiment with. For extra credit, you could draw inspiration from a church member named Niko Alm. He convinced authorities to allow him to wear a pasta strainer on his head for his driver's license photo. Having a jaunty approach to official requirements and formal necessities will also serve you well.
In his book Priceless: How I Went Undercover to Rescue the World's Stolen Treasures, former FBI agent Robert K. Wittman tells the story of the world's second largest crystal ball. Worth $350,000 and once belonging to the Chinese Dowager Empress, it was stolen from a museum. Wittman never located the actual robber, but years later he tracked down the crystal ball to a person who had acquired it quite innocently and by accident. She was a young witch in New Jersey who, unaware of its origins or value, kept it on her bedroom dresser with a baseball cap on top of it. I suspect you may have a comparable adventure in the coming months, Gemini. If you look hard and keep an open mind, you will eventually recover lost riches or a disappeared prize in the least likely of places.
What new influences will be headed your way in 2013?
What fresh resources will you be able to draw on?
How can you conspire with life to create the best possible future for yourself?
Tune in to my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES to hear your long-range previews for the coming year.
As a bonus, here's another long-term horoscope for you to contemplate. It covers the second half of 2012 and beyond.
"Message in a bottle" is not just a pirate movie cliche. It's a form of communication that has been used throughout history for serious purposes. England's Queen Elizabeth I even appointed an official "Uncorker of Ocean Bottles." And as recently as 2005, a message in a bottle saved the lives of 88 refugees adrift in the Caribbean Sea on a damaged boat. Glass, it turns out, is an excellent container for carrying sea-born dispatches. It lasts a long time and can even survive hurricanes. In accordance with the astrological omens, I nominate "message in a bottle" to be your metaphor for the rest of 2012. One way to apply this theme is as follows: Create a message you'd like to send to the person you will be in five years, perhaps a declaration of what your highest aspirations will be between now and then. Write it on paper and stash it in a bottle. Store this time capsule in a place you won't forget, and open it in 2017.
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