Your Sins Forgiven for a Million DollarsHundreds of years ago, it was seemingly possible to buy forgiveness. Until Martin Luther came along to spoil the fun, the Catholic Church used to sell "indulgences," which buyers could supposedly trade in purgatory for a reduced punishment for their earthly sins.
The forgiveness freaks at the Beauty and Truth Lab have revived this practice in a mutated form. For the right price, we're able to guarantee your absolution. To take advantage of our offer, simply send us a million dollars for each sin you want to have forgiven.
There's just one condition: You can't pay us with the government's legal tender. You must make the money -- literally.
Using crayons, paints, scissors, glue, collage materials, or other media, create your own version of large-denomination paper money.
Instead of the images of politicians that typically appear on government currency, draw pictures of your muses and heroes and friends and pets.
Rather than patriotic cliches and meaningless decorative frills, add sayings and symbols that make you happy.
Be sure to write a description of the sin you want "indulged" somewhere on the bill.
Send your payment to the Beauty and Truth Lab at P.O. Box 4399, San Rafael, CA 94913.
(excerpted from the revised and expanded edition of Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia)
© 1995-2013 -- Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved